my Letter to TOP TOBACCO L.P.

Copied verbatim from my word document:

June 2, 2024

Dear TOP TABACCO L.P.,

        I am holding in my hand a 100 pack of your “FINE GUMMED ROLLING PAPERS” Made in France for [COMPANY]. I have since used 3 or 4 papers and have been reeling in my head for a reason to use another. Whatever kind of smoke that I put in a leaf of TOP, it burns fair and true. Not too fast… or let it run up closer to your hand. It won’t go out. I usually paid more for a far inferior leaf. All I can tell you is they Kut Korners, and it shows. I appreciate that your fine gummed rolling papers aren’t pre-folded. It lets a man do what he does best, choose. People are finding it much more convenient to be given a choice instead of mustering one up. I find that life doesn’t always need to be convenient, you know, it should make sense and can be forgiving… well not nature... but life can be forgiving and kind and understanding, it can even look the other way if you are good to it. I dunno… I just see it more and more. The need to control every aspect of ones being, unwilling to ever just let it go and see where it takes you. I like the fact that you guys only charge 1.40 for a hundred leafs. And they can hold more smoke than the others without being a foot long or smelling like cherry’s or whatever these kids are doing nowadays. Everything they can to infect the natural with ‘evolution’ ... we’ll see what cancer gets you, fools. I’ve been smoking for a long time, and I got more lung capacity than anyone I know. It's all about what you put in your body and how you deal with it being there. I asked my local counterman for the TOPs papers. I also asked him for some 35mg salt NIC juice. This shop has very reasonable prices and they are right down the road from me. 15 bucks is not bad for a bit of juice. It usually goes for about $25 in 2024. 

I waited until I finished my papers with Kut Korners, which took a few days as I smoke once or twice a day tops. Unless its my day off then ill smoke a lot. Anyways, I ran out of the old papers. I opened the TOP pack and sliced a shred off the pack. Two came off, but it was not an issue. I tossed the extra in the drawer which I used shortly after... I first noticed that one needs to look for the gummed edge. What separates the newbs from the pros. This made my mouth steal a grin and said “nice” to myself right out loud. TOPS also held much more than a typical Kut Korner paper would hold without risking a tear… I decided to roll a spliff this time and emptied the last of an unfinished 27 into the paper. It all easily fit, and I rolled it with ease, for whatever reason I could roll these, and they didn’t look like a stuff chimney from olde mickey mouse cartoons. They almost looked like a machine rolled it but who cares its gunna be gone in a minute or two anyways. It ran pretty bad on one side, but it ended up correcting itself and ended on an even burn.

In conclusion, I love your papers and thank you for putting out a product that dos not do everything for you, it knows you have a brain and skilled fingers. Not everyone needs their food chewed for them. Thank you for making a young man smile. I hope my days on this planet are not many, so I have taken up the smoking hobby again. After stopping for several years. I tried vaping and how do you quit something that is that convenient. There are no bad aspects besides we don’t know the long-term effects so why stop something that isn’t an issue? That’s why I think vapes are stupid and just another money-making scheme. There is no point of quitting the vape, they can be used indoors, do not leave a bad odor, don’t stain teeth, taste like candy... I prefer a smoke that doesn’t encourage another drag because I like the taste, I don’t smoke because I like the taste. I prefer how 27s taste ever since they made camel wides taste like cat food.

That leaves us here, keep your prices low or ill jump ship. I’m planning on making myself a top shirt to help spread the good news. If you have a problem with my advertising your brand unofficially,

You can always send me a shirt and I can rep that instead. Size Large.

                   [signed]                                                                                                                               

John O’Donnell

June 2, 2024

Not super eloquently put, but you can say I have an upbeat enthusiasm for their products. I wish I could make an impact such as this in anyone's life. I suppose I have, but the tickers always ticking. Plenty of time to ruin anything you've worked very hard to protect. cheers! I do hope writing letters to companies becomes a thing again. whining over x or twitter is fucking stupid. I will never "tweet" anything to anyone as long as I effing live, never again... Fucking assholes ever make me do anything stupid again it will be to don wonder pants. and the whole world will be asking if they've donned them or not. wonder pants. wonder pants. yes wonder pants. everyone sound like fools in unisin. "won-der-PANTS! won-der-PANTS! won-der-PANTS!" as they are slaughtered one by one in the everlong conveyor belt, off and into the kiln. so long... watch that part if you've never seen the wall... its so telling.